I'm happy.

I realized something great today.
I'm starting a new chapter in this long book I call "my life."
I've found myself smiling for no reason quite often. I think I've figured out why.
I'm happy.
Like, "come on world! I can conquer anything" type of happy.
You know why?
Because I have conquered a lot in the past 4 months.
I'm really proud of myself.
I'm more than halfway done with high school. That thought is a little scary.
I still feel like I should be an awkward 12 year old.
But I guess the awkward part hasn't changed. Just my age.
Everyone is growing up.
Taylor turned in his mission papers.
 Hannah can go on a mission at the end of this year.
I register for my senior year on Tuesday!
It will be 4 months from the surgery on February 9th.
I turn 18 this year.
We have enough snow to last us a decade. Somehow they expect us to still get to school safely.
I still listen to Mumford daily. I have also been listening to a lot of Keane lately.
I have stopped letting drama consume my life.
I curled my hair today. That doesn't happen often at all.
I got an 85% on my math test. 3 cheers for Heather!
I still have toe nail polish on from Preference. I'm seeing how long it will last.
I have council retreat this weekend. I'm super excited.
I don't think we will be sleeping at all on Friday night.
Bonnie and I snapchat all the time. I love that crazy girl.
I've already started planning my summer. Holla!!
We may go to Harry Potter World for spring break.
I would cry real tears if we did.
I love going to junior jazz games. I secretly wish I could play basketball.
I'm happy with where things are at the moment. In more than one situation in my life.
I'm going to the temple tomorrow. Bright and early.
Things are starting to get better.


P.S. that picture was taken 3 days after I tore my ACL. I know it looks cute like I'm popping my foot, but the truth is that was the position my leg was stuck in. Didn't really straighten it for about a month. Just a fun fact :)

Monday.

"You can do anything you want. You just can't do everything. "
-Eric Vernon

My daily challenge:
1. Do a sincere act of service daily.
2. Smile at 5 people I don't know at school.
3. Don't go to bed until all my homework is done and I feel prepared for the next day.
4. Whenever I have a negative thought about someone, think of 2 great things about them instead.
5. Don't complain. Keep things positive.

Read Jacob 4:7.

Listen to this Song. It kinda speaks everything on my mind. 

I've been thinking about something this kid told me. He told me it's ok to cry. Because when you cry it means you miss something or that something means a lot to you. Spencer always knows what to say. I've watched him grow immensely over the past few months as he has been in Poland. That is where he is suppose to be for these two years. I do miss S-force though.... so does my GPA.

I've finally got things figured out. But you better believe it took a lot of time. 

Karma is real. 

I can almost do the splits again. Take that knee. 

Logan told me he is finally going to answer me to Morp. It's about time.

I've finally learned how to forgive.

I really like my new haircut. 

I still have glow in the dark tape on the back of my phone from November. 

I like wearing as many layers as possible to school. 

Adam Mayne makes me laugh. 

I have a math test tomorrow. 

Cordell Cox is a great guy. 

I read my horoscope daily.  

Some people call me Vern. And I like that. 

I love Kelsie Shuler.  I'm a big fan of hers.

It's Monday. 

Choices

What I should be doing

I should be doing my homework
      but instead I'm reading blogs of beautiful people.

I should wake up early some mornings to shower
     but I usually just go to school with my hair half up.

I should be dancing everyday
    but I CAN'T because God has given me a trial.

I should just forgive and forget
    but sometimes that is harder than we think.

I should say, "We're in high school, so do what you want."
     but I know that there is a greater picture and plan.

I should be a better friend
    but sometimes I tend to focus on only myself.

I should be praying morning and night
    but sometimes I fall into bed without praying.

I should be kinder to my family
    but sometimes I'm just a stubborn teenager

I should be visiting my Spanish Fork friends more often
   but life is just crazy.

I should be starting to plan for prom and be doing my job
   but starting to plan scares me.

What I shouldn't be doing

 I shouldn't be caring what others think
    but that's hard in high school.

I shouldn't be getting bad grades
    but I am trying my best.

I shouldn't have to miss ballet everyday
    but things take time.

I shouldn't be judging others
    but that can be hard.

I shouldn't stress about the future
    but I'm a control freak.

I shouldn't have frizzy hair
   but you can't have it all.

I shouldn't have an addiction to Junior Mints
   but well.... I actually see nothing wrong with that one.

I shouldn't hurt peoples feelings
   but sometimes we lose sight of the most important things for a moment.

I shouldn't have an addiction to Mumford.
    but YES. YES I should.

I shouldn't have crushes on boys where there is no chance
   but I'm 17.

Isn't it funny how even though we know what we should be doing and what is right, we don't do it?  That's called independence, my dear. That's called thinking for yourself and using this wonderful thing we have been given called agency. That's called life is beautiful and short, so love the people you are surrounded with. Don't hold onto things that won't matter in a month or two. See the big picture. See that God is good and he loves you.

Choose to be happy.

Not just happy though.

Choose to thank your Heavenly Father for all of your blessings. Choose to show your friends you really do care. Choose to spend time with your family. Choose to smile EVERYDAY.  Choose to have those days where you wake up late and rush to get ready, but still feel beautiful at school. Choose to look past people's flaws, because you have just as many. Choose to love. Choose to give service daily.

But most importantly.

Choose to love yourself.

Hypocrite

Hypocrisy:
The practice of professing standards, beliefs, etc. contrary to one's real character or actual behavior. Especially the pretense of virtue or piety.

I don't usually have issues with people. Besides those who are hypocrites. It's hard for them to gain my respect. Really hard at times.

It's also very easy to lose. 

The thoughts I had tonight.

Guys. I danced tonight. Well kinda. I performed with my wonderful dance co at the basketball game. Devyn and I had to do things a little modified due to the fact we're a little handicapped. But it still felt absolutely amazing. I've missed dance so much. It really is how I express myself. I don't know a better feeling than being able to dance for a large group of people and share your talent. I know it's a gift from God. One gift I will never take for granted again.

I don't think people understand how amazing high school is. I kinda thought about this tonight at the basketball game. I was sitting behind someone whos head I couldnt see over, so I had  some time to just look  around and think. Sure there is some stuff that we all wish we could just get rid of. Like those people who are only concerned about their social status, or if they will get a kiss that weekend. Please, let's just all be friends. We're only cavemen together for so long. If I'm going to have to see someone at school every day, we might as well be friends. How many faces do you see everyday that you don't know anything about those people?  I've learned the value of people this year. Part of the reason is because of student council. And please don't call me sweater. That was funny for the first week, not any more. Some people think stuco gives you this view that you are better than everyone else. Well it actually does the opposite. I've met so many people this year  that I've grown to care so much for. I've really seen that what people say about me doesn't matter. Because the fact is that I'm happy. I'm meeting new friends. People mean so much to me. I've also learned that just because someone feels or thinks something negative about you, it doesn't mean they are right. You know yourself better than anyone else does. Don't let people who give you so little thought, consume your thoughts. Please just live in high school. You really only get one shot at it. So make it the best you can. And so what if someone thinks your dramatic. It's all part of growing up. Don't let people discourage you. There is only so much you can do to please people. If they aren't willing to make an effort then don't stress. They may not be worth it. AF is filled with amazing people who will do extraordinary things. Through being involved with the school, I've grown to love it. Especially my stuco family and dance co sisters . They are hard to beat.

P.S. sorry for the long post. I've been grounded all week and had nothing better to do on a Friday night.

Oh and I'm still smiling about dancing tonight. Life is looking up. 

And It's Her Birthday!!

Happy Birthday Kelsie!

Today is Kelsie's birthday. She is sweet seventeen! You want to know how our friendship started? Well Connor asked me to Winter Waltz last year, and he asked me on the night Spencer opened his mission call. Kelsie came with him to help ask, so she ended up coming to watch Spencer open his call as well. Ever since then, we've been inseperable. We've been through it all together. All of my greatest high school memories involve Kelsie. Hah and I'm serious when I say that. Just to name a few:

1. Winter Waltz group
2. Prom group
3. Countless drive bys. (This is a bit embarrassing to admit)
4. Late night sonic runs
5. Long long phone calls. Especially after school dances.
6. Sitting on her couch listening to Travis give me advice.
7. Watching her play soccer.
8. Lunch trips
9. Birthday parties
10. We've had some good cries together.
11. Double dates.
12. We've had nights where we laugh so hard our stomach's hurt.
13. We are a bit of social media stockers. But that's normal, right?
14. Trying to survive math together.
15. Sending quotes to each other. Kelsie has a quote for everything.
16. Her hiding under the bleachers on that cold night after the stag dance.
17. Peter Pan
18. Listening to Taylor Swift and watching chick flicks together.

This is only the beginning of our long list of adventures. But I think some of my greatest memories with Kelsie are when we don't plan anything, and just spend time together. She is such a good listener and is always there when I need her. Oh and when it comes to boys, she is always right. I've learned not to doubt her. It's a lucky thing, finding a friend who really accepts you for who you are. I don't know how Kels puts up with me. I'm emotional, dramatic, I can be prideful, but I try my best to be the kind of friend she is to me. It's crazy to think I only met her a little over a year ago. But it's not time that makes a friendship strong. It's the genuine care and love you have for each other and everything in their life. High school is rough. Growing up is rough. However, having someone who you know you can always rely on makes things a lot easier. Thanks Kels for everything. Love you!

Goo Goo Dolls

I've spent the day listening to a ton of old songs on my Ipod. This one is still on my list of favorites. All I can say is thank you Goo Goo Dolls. This song is a classic.