Slowly learning.

I'm learning how to be selfless.
More selfless than I usually am.
Putting others first.
Their needs in front of mine.
Their wants instead of mine.
That's what it means to love. 

On the Bright Side...

My list of 10 things I'm grateful for today:

1. I got an 81% on my math test. I don't think you realize how happy I am about that.
2. I finished all my core testing. Only 2 more weeks of chemistry!!
3. I had my piano recital on Thursday. It was great! I forget how much I love playing piano until l perform.
4. I made dance co next year! Hah i know, complete shocker. I woke up this morning bright and early to McCall and Brooke jumping on my bed. Change will be hard adjusting to a new team, but I'm very excited.
5. I have wonderful friends. Friends who are always there when I need them. Friends like Parker and Maggie and Kels who will listen to my crazy life, and show their support.
6. I'm grateful for the peace and happiness that I find in the gospel.
7. I'm grateful for seminary teachers who will let me come in and talk with them all through lunch. The advice and guidance that I was given was just what I needed to hear.
8. I spent half my Friday night working on an English project with Mags. Then I came home and watched a movie with my family. I could have gone and spent more time with friends, but I realized that the people I needed to spend more time with was my family. Because when I am home, I know I'm loved unconditionally.
9. I helped set up for the senior dinner dance today. The new council was in charge of setting up. It was strange at first without the seniors, but then I got really excited. I will be a senior next year. I'm excited to make new friends, have a fresh start with school, and have one more year at wonderful AF high. My junior year has been great. It really has. I've learned a lot about myself. But I'm ready for change. I'm ready for the seniors to graduate and have my spot as the top class.
10. Tomorrow I have an all day workshop for all the Student Council's in alpine district. I have to be late however, because I have dress rehearsal for the Showcase recital on Monday. I'm grateful to be able to at least be in a few dances in the recital. I cherish any time I get to be on stage.

So over all, I guess you could say I am really happy. This doesn't mean everything in my life is perfect. Not at all. But if you let people bring you down, you need go realize that sometimes you have to find your own happiness. I'm so grateful for all the wonderful people around me. I'm reminded everyday how lucky I am to have so many people who care about me. If you focus on these people, the other problems in life don't matter. I'm grateful for these life lessons. It's all part of growing up. 

Laughter really is the best medicine.

I love to laugh.
I always have.
I've actually been told I have quite a loud laugh, but I don't really mind. I try to find as many reasons as possible each day to smile and be verbal about how much I love the people and things around me. I've kinda got a loud mouth. I don't always think before I just start talking. That can sometimes get me in trouble. So I've focused lately on controlling my tongue. Instead of speaking ill about someone, or saying that sarcastic comment that may come off offensive, I smile and find a reason to giggle.

Here's just a few examples. I just found out that one of the people that has had the biggest influence on me this year is moving. This came as a huge shock. This lady really has changed the way I view everything. I wanted to be bitter, but I took the positive side. I remembered all the memories from this year, and I'm looking forward to the future.
I laugh a ton whenever I'm with Parker. The kid is like my brother. I'm so comfortable around him, and I know he will always be there for me.
There is always a lot of giggling when I have a girls night. We giggle about cute movie actors, how much food we eat, and how the boys at our school just all seem to cycle through the same girls. That's why I've given up on boys. The free single life has suited me much better. It's actually a lot more fun believe it or not.
I always laugh to point where I am almost in tears when I spend time with Mags. She's one of few people that really gets me. We've probably get annoying when we are in public together. We can say one word and we are both doubled over laughing. That's a sign of a great friendship. We also giggle about her long distance relationship, and my strange impulse lately to live in the moment. Needless to say, she knows my secrets.

I laugh about how my legs still aren't the same size.
I laugh whenever I try to park my big car. People who watch me usually laugh too.
I laugh how you and I still have a hard time carrying on a conversation after all this time.
I laugh about past memories. Or when people tease me about past memories. Like lying on the football field the other day and having someone yell that famous "one liner" at me. Yeah, I guess it's still funny. Even funnier is who was teasing me about it.
I laugh at how happy my best friend was when she called me to inform me that she is no longer VL. Welcome to the club, sister.

I smile whenever I notice how influential the gospel is in my life. Nothing brings me more joy. I'm jealous of these boys as I watch them get their mission calls. I don't know yet if a mission is right for me, but I do know that God has something great in store for me. And for you, and that kid in math class that really bothers you. Remember how much potential we all have. Love people for who they are. Laugh about the simple things. I sound preachy tonight, and I'm sorry about that. I just want you to feel this joy that I have found lately. 

And We Danced.

Well it was a big weekend.
It was the dance co concert.
It's been an exhausting week just in general. We were at the school everyday this week until about 9pm. But it all pays off. The concert was so wonderful! It is hard to put into words how good it felt to be on stage performing again. I've missed it more then you can imagine. Friday night concert was very emotional because it was the last time we would dance with the senior girls. More then half the team are seniors and I have a unique friendship with each one of them. They have all shaped the person I have become this year. You could say there were many tears before the concert, after, and even during the show. The duo I did with Devyn was an experience I will never forget. She has become a part of me that I will cherish. I was honored to share the stage with her. Overall, the best way to put it into words, is we stabbed this concert. Dance co style.

Before we went on stage, Aubrie had us dedicate our performance to one person. We wrote a letter to them, and we were supposed to keep them in mind throughout the whole show. I wrote my letter to Spencer. He has come to every single dance recital and I know he was there because he wanted to be. He loves watching me dance. So I dedicated my performance to him because I know he would have been sitting front row watching me, jus as happy as I was to be back on stage. Right before we went on stage, McCall came up to me and handed me a letter. She had decided to dedicate this last concert to me. I have grown up dancing with McCall since we were 3 and 4. We've performed together countless time. We've been to competitions together, performed in St. George, San Fran, Disneyland and now dance co together. Right after I tore my ACL I talked to the dance co girls about never taking dance for granted. It is a gift, not just something you should should expect. I guess that really touched McCall. In her letter she told me that ever since my injury she has had a different attitude with dance. She said she has danced for me every day since September 12th. Well we were bawling of course, and I just sat and hugged McCall after she gave me the letter.
 I'm blessed to have her as such a good friend.
I'm blessed to dance.
I'm blessed to have a healthy body.
I'm blessed to have trials.
I'm blessed to have a Father in Heaven who cares so much about me.

Life is great.

So much has happened lately that I don't know where to start.

God is constantly reminding me how precious life is. It's terrible that we have to be reminded this through the death of another person. With the suicide at our school, I've started to appreciate the people around me more. We had a candlelight vigil at the high school on Monday night in memory of Josh. I went with some of my best friends. That night as I was linking arms with two wonderful people, I began to see what love really is. I believe we have a hard time experiencing what it really means to love someone unconditionally in high school. But I gave one of my best friends a hug that night and I understood what it means to really care. In high school, if you have a best friend who is a different gender then you, people always say you will have a relationship. It's hard to grasp the concept of loving someone for who they are, but not wanting more then that friendship. But it's possible, I know it is. I've experienced it.

This week was choir tour for a lot of my friends. So I had the privilege the spend one on one time with some great people. Ashley and I hung out Friday. She never fails to make me laugh. I have so many memories with her. I almost have a heart attack every time I think about my senior year without her, but I'm grateful for all the time we have spent together. I spent a lot of time with my family as well. That was great. My cousin James is one of my best friends, and it's great whenever he comes and spends time with the family. I also got to hang with Logan a bit. It was fun to catch up with him. Some weekends I'm reminded that your teenage years are for growing up and learning lessons, and loving the freedom that comes with all this.

Prom was last weekend. I had a blast. Grant was such a fun date! He was a gentlemen throughout the whole thing. It was great to see Prom together after all the planning I had put into it. I'm so grateful for my junior council. I couldn't have done it without them. Oh and Mags never fails to brighten my day. And she has a really comfy bed that is great for sleepovers.

Dance co concert is next weekend. Pray for me. Let's hope my knee will be ready.

6 months

Today marks 6 months.
To the day.
So it was the perfect day to go back to ballet.
I haven't worn a leotard and tights in over 7 months. I haven't done my hair in a ballet bun either.
But it all felt normal. It felt great.
I pulled my old ballet shoes out of my dance bag that haven't seen daylight since the day of the injury.
Hah they still smelled just as bad.
The studio still feels like home. I love all the hugs from the cute girls that I've missed so much.
It almost felt like I'd never been gone.
Then we started barre and the knee injury was obvious.
I still can't plie' very well and I'm unstable whenever I do the left side of barre.
However, none of that really matters. Because I was doing it.
I was back at ballet and trying my best.
I've still got a long road ahead of me, but I make progress each day.
You could see the little purple scar through my pink tights. You could actually see all 5 scars.
They don't bother me though. Just another thing to make me unique.

On the other hand, I picked up my prom dress today. I LOVE it. If my mom would let me, I would probably sleep in it. Things are all coming together. My date will be so fun, and after this Saturday I don't have to worry about planning this dance anymore.

We've been studying poetry in Mr. Lind's class. I've grown to love poems because of my dad. Well I've grown to just love English in general. My dad created a list of the 20 most important grammar rules and we spent some time one night going over it. I know it sounds weird, but that's completely normal in the Vernon home.

So here's the poem for the week.

A thought went up my mind to-day

A thought went up my mind to-day
That I have had before,
But did not finish,--some way back,
I could not fix the year,

Nor where it went, nor why it came
The second time to me,
Nor definitely what it was,
Have I the art to say.

But somewhere in my soul, I know
I've met the thing before;
It just reminded me--'t was all--
And came my way no more. 

Emily Dickinson

Stress Free

These past two weeks have been wonderful. The past month has been so stressful that now that my stress is gone, I feel like I could conquer the world.
So first good news , I will be an SBO next year. SBO secretary to be exact. I couldn't be more excited! I absolutely love everyone on the new council next year. It's all bitter sweet.
I've got the greatest friends. They really are there whenever I need them. The other weekend a couple of  us had a fire at Miles's. Just listening to the boys talk made me realize how lucky i am to call them my friends. They will be great missionaries. Every single one of them.
I went on a date with Adam the other day. I love spending time with him. We doubled with Connor and Jolene. The boys made dinner themselves. I was so impressed. I really need Adam to teach me how to cook. I could use a few lessons. He was such a gentlemen and I had a wonderful evening. Thanks Adam for making me feel so special.
We're in st George for spring break. It's so nice to get away and enjoy the sun. I love spending time with the family. Don't know what I'd do without them.