Jill was so right.
However, I think I knew it all along.
We put up boundaries. These "walls" that we just don't let certain people pass. Not because we don't love them. No that's not it at all.
It IS because we love them. We love the little quirks they have, and how we know each other so well we almost finish each other's sentences. How he teases me constantly, but never more than I can handle. How he gives the best hugs and I can tell they are sincere. The subtle compliments he gives me. Simply the way he looks at me when we talk about life. I don't want to chance losing any of this. Because that has happend to me before. People I care so much about are now just simply faces I see everyday. Every once in a while having a conversation out of kindess and knowing it's the right thing to do. It's because once you break down those walls it's nearly impossible for them to be built again.
Somewhere in that last paragraph it switched from "we" to "him". I guess I can't avoid that this post just got personal.
So someone help me out here. Someone explain to me how that fine line has been blurred. That line use to be thick. Thick and obvious for everyone to see. I never even thought of looking what was on the other side. I was so happy with where I was and what side I was on. I was also happy with where he stood. I vowed I wouldn't get caught in something like this again. Even blogged about it.
But to be curious is in our nature.
And he started to cross his toes over the line.
I don't even how he got that far.
There is so much that complicates this. It simply just doesn't add up for either of us.
But I began to do the same. Without thinking. Part of me was just curious, part of me... well most of me just wanted to see what would happen.
Then he gave the sign. Our usual, comfortable, weekend nights as best friends began to be a bit different. Somewhere in the mix of our laughter and jokes, feelings were involved. Affection began to be shown. Nothing major, yet just enough for us to realize what was going on. But I didn't know what I wanted.
So I backed away. We discussed our friendship and how important it is. So he agreed we should stay where we have always been. On those separate sides of the line. Although I must admit, I have been second guessing myself ever since. He still shows intrest, and I've began to show it as well. I reason both sides. Why it would work, and why it doesn't.
I guess you could say we both are standing on the line. Just waiting for the other person to make the first move again. I don't know if I will. I don't know if he will.
But I do know one thing. Jill was right all along.
It's hard to just stay friends.
However, I think I knew it all along.
We put up boundaries. These "walls" that we just don't let certain people pass. Not because we don't love them. No that's not it at all.
It IS because we love them. We love the little quirks they have, and how we know each other so well we almost finish each other's sentences. How he teases me constantly, but never more than I can handle. How he gives the best hugs and I can tell they are sincere. The subtle compliments he gives me. Simply the way he looks at me when we talk about life. I don't want to chance losing any of this. Because that has happend to me before. People I care so much about are now just simply faces I see everyday. Every once in a while having a conversation out of kindess and knowing it's the right thing to do. It's because once you break down those walls it's nearly impossible for them to be built again.
Somewhere in that last paragraph it switched from "we" to "him". I guess I can't avoid that this post just got personal.
So someone help me out here. Someone explain to me how that fine line has been blurred. That line use to be thick. Thick and obvious for everyone to see. I never even thought of looking what was on the other side. I was so happy with where I was and what side I was on. I was also happy with where he stood. I vowed I wouldn't get caught in something like this again. Even blogged about it.
But to be curious is in our nature.
And he started to cross his toes over the line.
I don't even how he got that far.
There is so much that complicates this. It simply just doesn't add up for either of us.
But I began to do the same. Without thinking. Part of me was just curious, part of me... well most of me just wanted to see what would happen.
Then he gave the sign. Our usual, comfortable, weekend nights as best friends began to be a bit different. Somewhere in the mix of our laughter and jokes, feelings were involved. Affection began to be shown. Nothing major, yet just enough for us to realize what was going on. But I didn't know what I wanted.
So I backed away. We discussed our friendship and how important it is. So he agreed we should stay where we have always been. On those separate sides of the line. Although I must admit, I have been second guessing myself ever since. He still shows intrest, and I've began to show it as well. I reason both sides. Why it would work, and why it doesn't.
I guess you could say we both are standing on the line. Just waiting for the other person to make the first move again. I don't know if I will. I don't know if he will.
But I do know one thing. Jill was right all along.
It's hard to just stay friends.
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