My spinning head and upset stomach.

I have so many emotions today. My heart and my stomach feel like a jumbled mess.
Today I remembered the value of life. It is so tragic that we are reminded of this by the death of another person. Life if precious. Never take it for granted. Actually, never take anything for granted. Each day has something new to offer, and sometimes you never get those offers back. Plus you don't know what the next day has to hold, so don't give up. We are told that every person has a purpose. I am a firm believer in this.  I may not be as great as the people around me, but no one is the same at Heather Vernon. I am my own person for a reason. It's because there are things that I can accomplish that only I can do. I wish everything could see their worth.

My stomach has also been upset today due to the fact that we talked about elections in student council. It seems like yesterday that I was calling Connor to talk about how excited we were to be on council together. This year has flown by, and I don't know if I'm ready for change. Change is good, but it's not easy.

I went to lunch today with Erika, Madi and Rachel. I adore all these girls so much! Like all girls, we got on the subject of boys. After discussing things, we all realized that we felt the same at the moment. We just need a break from high school boys. Don't get me wrong, some of my greatest friends are boys, but I'm done with these "high school relationships".  Because here is the thing. Boys and girls want different things when it comes to relationships. Girls simply want to feel wanted. Haha and if you thought of Hunter Hays when I said that, don't worry, so did I. They want the satisfaction of knowing someone cares for them and someone is there to listen and be there when needed. Now you find boys who feel this way, but they are the minority. For boys, when it comes to girlfriends, and how many girls they have kissed, it is a number. It's like this competition that no one admits to, but all boys know what is going on. It's funny how you will see a boy with one girl, and then the next month a different one. Best part is, it's usually the girls best friend, or even the boy's best friend's old girlfriend. (I know, that sounds confusing at first. Just read it slow). Now I realize this is high school. It's sticking a bunch of kids in one building and trying to get us to learn, to make friends, and to somehow feel good about ourselves. High school is about having fun, making memories, and having a sweetheart or two. But girls, remember that these are high school boys we are associating with. And boys, be kind to girls. We have fragile hearts. Actually, I really don't know what I'm saying here. Maybe I'm just trying to give a reason for boycotting relationships. I'm trying to give a reason to not being so quick to give my heart away. I'm giving a reason to only spending weekends with Kelsie. Because I don't need a boy to be happy. They usually actually end up making me feel the opposite way.

I'm the happiest I have been in a long time. You know why? Because I chose to be. I stopped caring what other people think and did what makes me happy. I take the long way home from school and blast music in my car. I don't listen to rumors and make a big deal about "who has kissed who" and people asking me how I feel about it. Because guess what... I don't care. And when I realized that about a month ago, I couldn't stop smiling. My happiness is finally something that I control. There are so many more important things. So not only am I boycotting boys, but I'm boycotting high school drama. Wahoo! Life is finally good again.

So as you can see, my thoughts are jumbled today as well.

I'm stil striving to give service daily, and those sincere compliments.
I'm still dressing in sweaters and collared shirts.
I'm still trying to mend friendships and make new ones.
I still have one leg smaller than the other.
I still want to go to ballet everyday.
I am still being Heather Vernon.