A Year of Firsts

I made it through 2012. What a year it has been. A year of "firsts" is probably the best way to describe it. First time driving. First kiss. Well first time I've actually associated with boys. First glimpse at a broken heart. First real injury and surgery. First time having to stand for what I believe. First time I failed a math test. First time I've actually had to think about what my testimony means. First time I've had to say goodbye to a sibling for two years. First time I went to a concert. First time refusing a kiss. First time I became a true caveman. First time sitting in the front row of my dance recital and crying because I wanted nothing more than to be on stage. First time wearing a stuco sweater. First time a friend has made me cry. First time feeling replaced. First time realizing I really was replaced. First time I've lost someone who we all felt wasn't ready to go. First time I knew I had really met a true friend. First time knowing what it's like to really want something you know you can't have. First time discovering I'm really obsessed with Mumford . First time admitting I kinda like Taylor swift. First time on crutches. First "fireworks went off" kiss after a school dance. First "I probably should have thought that one through" kiss.  First time I've lost a best friend. First time I've realized what is important in life. First time having to get a math tutor. First time getting in a real argument with my parents. First time feeling completely alone. First time choreographing a dance. First time I met Devyn Bogh who has taught me what it means to be a team player and not play the "pity" card. First (and I hope only) time I've torn my ACL in front of the school and still finished the dance. First time taking OxyContin and Lortab, after surgery, and disappointing Taylor because I didn't react to them. First prom. First time seeing how mean girls can be. First time seeing how loyal friends can be. First time I've realized I'm blessed beyond belief to have Kelsie as a best friend. First time I've never been happier to be apart of stuco. First time doing the dance co cheer. First time crying in my car with Hannah after listening to a band play and feeling stupid but learning a valuable lesson. I guess what I'm trying to say is I've learned a lot this year. I've learned that its ok to trust people. I'm so darn independent I even bug myself sometimes. But I've also learned I can't depend on other people for my happiness. Because people change, and things happen. What you want and see as important can be completely different than someone else.

I've got this friend. He's pretty great. It's one of those friendships that just sorta happens and you can't really remember how it happened. Anyway, at one time I had a crush on his best friend, and he had a crush on mine. A few broken hearts and long talks later, we discovered something. We have something in common. Something deeper than just liking the same music. We both have the ability to love people. Not just like a high school love, but accepting someone and wanting the absolute best for them type of love. We both expect the same kind of love from our friends and then feel confused when they don't return it. So my goal this year is to not expect people to act a certain way because we are all human and if we were all the same life would be terribly boring. So I'm going to love people for who they are and know things always work out. I want Heather to be known for accepting everyone and letting them know they can trust me. I don't always want to focus on myself because that's one of my talents, and its not a good thing. I've gained and lost friends in 2012 and I'm excited to see what this year has to offer. I'm excited to see what "firsts" will happen.